September 9th 2013:
Child 1 comes home from school being a proper nightmare. In his school bag I find a letter advertising Cheerleading Club at school:
Me: Right, if you don’t start behaving I’m going to sign you up for this. 
Child 1: Ha, only girls can do Cheerleading.
Me: That’s not true, look. (as I start Googling ‘boy cheerleader’ and come across the most hilarious picture of a boy in a skirt and pom poms). See told you. 
Child 1: OH MY GOD. Daddy please don’t make me do it. 
Me: Are you going to behave?
Child 1: Yes I promise

I’ve not heard anything from him since